Bitter Sweet

I'm back to work.

It's been a little rough, particullary in the mornings when I have to say goodbye. I see Travis with his arm around Barend snuggling with him and I just want to stay home, get back in bed, and snuggle too. It's hard, because I'm afraid that one day while I'm at work he'll want me and I won't be able to get to him fast enough and so he won't want me anymore.

But, once I'm at work I'm ok. At least I think I am. I get into a groove; work, pump, work, and pump some more. It actually makes the day go by pretty fast. It becomes hard again during those pumping times when I need to focus on the baby and all I have are pictures. But, I really enjoy what I do. I enjoy designing a project and see it being built. It's just fun! But I miss being with Trav and Barend.