My cousin's son, Dustin, passed away yesterday. He was struck by an SUV while riding his bike on the way to school. He was only 14. You begin to question God and his awesome power. Is he so loving?
I want to know if I'll see Dustin again. I want to know if Barend leaves, will I see him again. Where is the line? When is it that God says we are able to make the decision to follow him? At what point do we become "responsible" for our own salvation. Is there really a place...is there really a hope that God has a place for us and his children. I begin to question, if I died in one second, will I see God? Will I be "safe"? And is that even right to think that way?
In the back of my mind, I know that I shouldn't worry. I know I should rely on God. I know it's not for us to decide. But how can we not???
For now they saw something not only behind the wave but behind the sun. They could not have seen even the sun if their eyes had not been strengthened by the water of the Last Sea. But now they could look at the rising sun and see it clearly and see things beyond it. What they saw --eastward, beyond the sun--was a range of mountains. It was so high that either they never saw the top of it or they forgot it. None of them remembers seeing any sky in that direction. And the mountains must really have been outside the world. For any mountains even a quarter of a twentieth of that height ought to have had ice and snow on them. But these were warm and green and full of forests and waterfalls however high you looked. And suddenly there came a breeze from the east, tossing the top of the wave into foamy shapes and ruffling the smooth water all round them. It lasted only a second or so but what it brought them in that second none of those three children will ever forget. It brought both a smell and a sound, a musical sound. Edmund and Eustace would never talk about it afterwards. Lucy could only say, 'It would break your heart.'
'Why,' said I, 'was it so sad?' 'Sad! No,' said Lucy. No one in that boat doubted that they were seeing beyond the end of the world into Aslan's country. (C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, pg212)
I cry when I read this section in the book, just about every time. I imagine greeting God at the beginning of this vast space. No more pain, suffering. No more worrying about death, about the emptyness that takes ahold sometimes.
C.S. Lewis and even Tolkein describes their image of heaven to the point where I get shivers and I feel like I shouldn't doubt. I really shouldn't doubt him. I may not understand why. I guess I should be glad that it's something in his control and that no matter what, he is still there for us. So many questions.......
Lord, please wrap your arms around Chad, Stacey, Ashley, Darren, and little Chad. Comfort them. Love them. Give them a hope and a peace in you beyond all understanding. Help us to know how to help them. Please be with all the extended family give all of us hope and faith, that you are in control of all things and no matter how hard things are, you're still there. Amen
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