Monday, August 29, 2005

Virtues

Patience is a virtue that I seem to be lacking in. I have recognized that through this pregnancy it's something that I need to really work on and change about myself.

For me, I've lived my life by one big life event after the other not really appreciating the everyday events. For example, I couldn't wait to graduate from high school, but missed it after I left. I couldn't wait to plan a wedding and get married to Travis, but after it was done I wondered what was next. I couldn't wait to graduate college and get a "real" job, but after it was done and I got the job I wished I was back and could take advantage of the learning opportunities I had there. I couldn't wait to move into a house and be back in Lansing, but when it was over I wished that we had spent more time looking at different houses. And then, I couldn't wait to be pregnant, after I was I questioned our readiness to be parents wondering if I really rushed it and pushed Travis too hard.

The first months I was anxious to be "big" so that people would know that I was pregnant. Then I was anxious to hear the baby's heartbeat to know that there was a baby in there. Next, it was the movement. Now, I can't wait to have the baby in my arms, to look into his eyes, to feed him and raise him. But I'm forgetting that I already have the baby. The baby is with me 24/7. How easy is that?

If I continue to live my life by one big life event after the other, I'll continue to miss the importance of the every day stuff. The times Trav and I spend together reading and talking. The times when we hang out with our small group and friends at Riverview. The times when I get to see family and friends back in Saginaw. You get the picture...

So I technically have 2 wks left of pregnancy. It could be tomorrow or 3 wks from now, it shouldn't matter. I should enjoy where I'm at and enjoy what God has given me now otherwise, I'll miss out on a whole lot.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. is it 2 weeks left already? Sheesh!

Nicole said...

So right Shanna. Enjoy all the little moments....and the sleep for now.

Phoenix Rising said...

patience is a toughie. GOD's really has been working on that with me lately. it's been cool but definitely awakening! as hard as it is at times, be fulfilled in each moment and try to push what will be out of your mind. and remember, when this awesome baby arrives, there will come a time you'll miss being prego! we all go through it, so never feel alone. we all look to the future with impatience and look to the past with longing. sometimes we just need to sit down and look at our lives. realize how amazingly blessed they are and feel the love that surrounds us. be content in today because tomorrow will come sooner than you think and yesterday will be only a place you can visit in your memories. make the best of it so each day you'll have an amazing memory. And look forward to tomorrow but don't be impatient about it, because only in HIS time, will it come…enjoy these last 2 weeks. And enjoy the quiet nights

you and this baby are in my prayers.